hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript
Princess from here down, Toad from here up. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. I was like, I made it! Its why we become cardiologists and win spelling bees. Its Guantanamo of the mind. I do. Doctor sees me. Can you write another? No, I cant. And I never saw her again. Thats when I realized I dont want a toy. Ive never gotten a sunburn. I got a career I hate from my parents. Its a lie. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King scores a 8.56 digit binge rating out. Clothes, culture, money. Youve seen movies. [laughter] My dad did not give a shit about any of this identity stuff. You guys do this all the time. And it is Aisha, and she is pissed. Im doing that right now. Late at night, back and forth, back and forth. The Closer is a 2021 American stand-up comedy special written and performed by Dave Chappelle for Netflix.It was directed by Stan Lathan and recorded over the course of seven sold-out performances at The Fillmore Detroit, which ran from August 10 to 15, 2021. Im like, Yo, when did Home Depot Dad become Danny Tanner? Killing it! There are uncles here. No, no were not. I look at her, Please dont say anything. She says nothing, like a G. [laughter] Bell rings. Following the success of his standup special "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King" (Netflix 2017), Minhaj left "The Daily Show" in 2018. Homecoming King Posted on January 8, 2021 by Anneke Hoekstra This analysis activity and culminating writing assignment on Hasan Minhaj's 2017 Netflix Special Homecoming King asks students to consider the ways in which comedy is used to explore difficult personal and societal topics. And I look at him, and Im like Dad? He had Jewish Najmi vibes. Im really nervous. Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India. Ill see all the employees, Hannity, Coulter, OReilly, leave their building, cross the street, walk past me, and line up for halal chicken and rice. Streaming Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) sub indo. The starring, who is also the writer of the video, Hasan Minhaj grows up in an India American Muslim background. By what name was Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) officially released in India in English? Im so excited. So, Hasan, be brave. Im blessed. This aint Jodhaa Akbar. Have you ever been trapped by the time you live in? A blank stare? You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Take it. But then I realized, wait, hold on. And for the liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to hit their children the way you do. In a relationship with I click it. Boom! Weve all been there. Look at how big his name is. Have fun in med school. Which is a huge lie. We used to have landlines. So Hindus Hindus dont eat beef. We got our first A-list celebrity to back the Muslim community. (1977) The Alamo: (1936, 1960 & 2004) The Alamo . Im balancing the corsage. Youve got leverage. Required fields are marked *. I didnt know how to feel, until this. She follows me into the bathroom. Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. That was our World War I, man. Cool. I just walk up and Im like, Alright, yeah. She went to an Ivy League law school. 2:27. The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhajs experience of growing up brown in America. Coming Soon. I redefined political satire and comedy. And then my dad would do what most br0wn parents do. Be like this, be like this. [laughter] [whistling, whooping] Whats up? Do that with this, and then lick the lips and go, Whats up? Im practicing it. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester | Official Trailer | Netflix Netflix 25.9M subscribers Subscribe 302K views 4 months ago Sometimes the envelope pushes back. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! Rated: TV-MA for language. Match up to three ways. But isnt it our job to push the needle forward little by little? Minhaj. and the Fuck, they stole my stuff. I reach and I pull out my backpack. Theyre like, Oh! I fell in love here. Arden. Hasan, get up! Shes crying, Hasan bhai, why would you do this? Anim tears of innocence. Fine. Ah, yogurt. Or milk. I cant date your daughter. I dont give a fuck, Uncle Sam. Hey, um, long time no see. She gets in the car. No one did that for that photo. Youre not. Nothing. Hes walking through the tunnel where the guests come, so hes just back-lit. Us? MCAT, DAT, youre going to the Caribbean, its a wrap. Please reference Error Code 2121 when contacting customer service. This just rubs off. Were sitting there. I need her in my life. Thank you for the opportunity. I tucked that turtle head back in my butt. Shes like, Do not make contact. Im like, Tell me what I want to hear. Need closure? Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. You claim that shit on your own terms. In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Starbucks, Wi-Fi, freeways, happy birthday. Weve got to clean this up. Zen! I've identified my statements in . Davis, whats up? Its crazy, because we know nothing about our parents and our parents know nothing about us. Im livid. I am Jon Stewart. [laughter] What about Mr Rengatramanajananam? Shes like, I hit it off with this guy. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. This is America. Theyre a clich. Off with his head! Like a god-damn emperor. Dont worry, it wont take long. Ill bike to your place, we dance it up, and if I die, I had a great run. You know? I want to marry Seema. Say it again. In that moment, I let it go. At least your spine isnt getting shattered in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this day. Two years, three years, four years, six years, seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy club. We are definitely getting married. "Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj" has come to an end on Netflix. And look, there are some days where I can forgive that person. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. My mom and my sisters are crying. I listen to NPR. Im standing there. Its a bracket with everybodys name on it leading up to the big dance. Thats the price we pay for being here. Thats when I was like, We really are from two different generations. BMX bikes aside. 8.2. And Fox News is in New York. All men created equal. It says it right here, Im equal. Your email address will not be published. Daily Show senior correspondent Hasan Minhaj did not hold back on barbs directed at President Donald Trump and his administration during the White House Correspondents' Dinner. I walk in and I see that Daily Show globe. I cant die. Back in the day, we had to fire up the internet like goddamn cavemen. Fresh TV Trailers. And he reaches in, and pulls out a beautiful, blue BMX bike. The story begins with Minhaj's parents getting married in . Is Hasan there? What you want, Alice? I was like, Im going to die a virgin. Im in Geometry with Hasan. Get him married before she changes her mind. She stepped up. It is amazing. Racism., So Im watching the show Real Time With Bill Maher. And Im out here stealing her bike? I pick it up, and its destroyed. People here with girlfriends are like, Babe, its different with you. Youre lying and thats okay. Youre going to die, so put it on the tombstone. Hey, do you believe in God? Youre Hussan Minhajj. Especially in middle school, if a girl called the house, you had to pick up the phone before your parents. Dad saw the Toys R Us catalog on my wall. I cant believe it. She does mergers and acquisitions now. Have you guys seen Real Time With Bill Maher? I dont care about any of you and it feels great. Yeah! I was a lover. I would love to meet up. Shes like, Yeah, lets meet up. And I go from LA to New York, direct flight. About to meet his future daughter-in-law, Minhajs father repeats an oft-spoken phrase from their household: log kya kahenge, What will people think? Minhaj and his sister become upset, believing that something bigger besides religion, race, creed, color, or class unites them with all people. And its not like they were yokels yelling sand n*gger! I could let that pass. Have you seen the show called The Slap? camasunary fishing lodge; crookston, mn obituaries Fuck this, man! Really? Im livid. The crowd looks large, but the show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly. It's far from a light walk . What are you into? I was like, What?, What do I like? Directed by: Christopher Storer Its March Madness for nerds. [laughter] They wont get it, dude. Youll need them later. Like, I had vision as a six-year-old. Why are you bald and skinny? YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. Thats the nicest Ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart. Does the Catholic Church really believe women are people? You bring nothing to the table. And I know the older generation doesnt like those jokes. "Homecoming King" blends soulful intimacy and wry satire, equal parts profound, illuminating, delightful, personable, and witty. Youre going to be on The Daily Show. I run outside. I jump on stage! First grade. But you know whats great? Pieces of glass get caught in my arm. Comedy, Youve got cards to play. And Aisha hates that story. So Ill see you Monday, right?. Now the ball is in our court, were going to be bigoted? You shouldnt relax. And I can feel it. No pepperoni! And then Hindus, they like statues. Im like, Im in Honors Gov, I have it right here. Oh, hello. Is Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King a good movie to watch? This is a real show on NBC. Like, I really wanted to go with you. I need that girl. Whatever. Because of this weve been killing each other for centuries. These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. Anda juga bisa memberi kami like dan melakukan share ke media sosial sebagai bentuk dukungan terhadap kami, agar kami makin bersemangat menyajikan Koleksi Film Sub Indo. I was like, I know this hand! He starts riffing, I start riffing. 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. Isnt that how all this stuff happens? 30. Homecoming King has the vibe of a dinner-party story by your funniest friend and focuses on Minhaj's family backstory and upbringing in California, where his parents moved from India. Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King) stops by Utkarsh's apartment to discuss his one-man show "Homecoming King", bringing South Asian American stories to the mainstream and the responsibilities that come it, how things work at The Daily Show, and Hasan talks about his brave, bold and incredibly powerful speech to Congress at the 2015 My dad sits everybody down. Im home. Now everybodys looking at me so Ive got to improvise. His rules with me were very simple. Im going to jump off and land on my bike. She got all these people working together. And I honestly dont know who is more right. But for me, I was born here. But, but you have to write another original piece. 10 Surprising Facts About Hasan Minhaj (1) FTD Facts. Davis, what's up? Moms a ninja, Dads a communist? Second marriage, Tools, Clear History. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! Youre not Hasan Minhaj. Hasan, were normal. [audience sighs] And shes like, Oh, my God, honey, did Bethany not tell you? We decide to move in together. You are choking. 10:19. Go be president. Put your head down. Hindus and Muslims. The pendulum swings back and forth for me. I look at my dad, like, If this is the last time I see my dad Im saying goodbye to a person I barely even know. And Im waiting, hoping that he comes out of surgery okay. I hope she has a good personality. Thats you. But for the most part, I actually think about it the way my dad does. So I start clicking around. How many times do you see that on screen? But the reason why I write about you is because I see you kept your promise. Send that shit right now! Im the only br0wn kid at school, Dad is the only br0wn guy at work. Who was I to ruin their picture-perfect celebration? Three? I was like, I get it. I remember leveling with my parents at the dinner table. Dont be tacky. Her family saw stuff about us. I need her, Dad. Were sitting on my living room table. Let me know when youre in New York. To which I reply, abso-f*cking-lutely. Now, against the advice of my therapist I go on Facebook, because she has a public profile. Shwarma time! I love that so much. My life? But I cant say that. God bless. Do you understand whats about to go down? I heard an audible Oh! Alright. I was like, Hey! Ive seen Girls. Hes like, Hasan, whatever you do, do not tell people youre Muslim or talk about politics. Alright, Dad, Ill just hide it. Love intrinsically is bigger than fear, he declares. Father doesnt want us to go to prom. I love you! Youre the color of poop. Thats memory number one. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Powered by Reelgood Latest on Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Stream It Or Skip It Stream It Or Skip It: 'Trevor Noah: I Wish You Would' On Netflix, 'The Daily Show'. Im like, Why arent you saying something? Hes like, Thats a good point. You get it, right? Youre a fucking idiot. And everyones like, Oh, the atheist prophet speaks! So this clip went viral, him and Ben Affleck. Kids start getting dates. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. Remember how I told you that immigrants love secrets? Hasan bhai is a comedian.. I really believe love is bigger than fear. Youre good. Thats a hand. No beef! Right? Batman is white. So Im walking back to the Camry, then I hear a voice behind me. And I can feel this turtle head coming out of my butt. Shes like, Next time, me, you and Raj should hang out. Im like, Yeah, lets not do that. And Im walking to the subway station. Boom! Im going to put this in my car.. Give me the Rajesh Rengatramana motherfucking-jananam. Like, No! God is laughing at me. Come on! Therefore I will grant your wish. As immigrants we always have to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism. Sign this. I sign this waiver that clears the hospital of liability if something happens to my dad. By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. Running time: 72 minutes So for her first birthday, he wanted it to be special. Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. And I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject. I really believe that. Hasan bhai! And Im in full hover-hands mode, because I have no idea who this person is. Also, remember, parents respect honesty. You dont deserve so much choice. Were getting soft. Hasan bhai! Get lost! Eventually, I run to the boys bathroom. Address. Weve got to get better about our cartoon policy. Im the cure for racism. Were going home. I walk out the door, but then I hear a voice. Walk in there, be confident. Second period rolls around like clockwork. Get in the Camry. The immigrant car of choice. Its not rubbing off! I was fucking terrified. Why didnt you forgive her? he asks his son. Are you kidding me? You should follow your dreams. [laughter] Maybe I will. I want to be Batman. Well, of course. How is this possible? #brilliant. The set went viral. It crashes into the cement. I just think our fathers didnt download all the great dad software. But its too much. This has, um This has been a very good year for me. This is a statue of an elephant. This is really nice. This is what Dad fought for. Ding-dong. Totally remember you. Good night. [slow, stupid voice] Uh, I dont understand other cultures, bro. Terms and Policies I have opinions. No, you dont. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. There you go, Uncle Sam. Thirty years ago in a town in India, population 990,000 thats a small town my dad heard a buzz in the streets about this woman named Seema, my mom. #Calc. Now blood is gushing down my arm, and Im pissed, Im fucking mad. Sitting presidents have sat on that desk. And then I drove home. The Closer is Chappelle's sixth and final special under his 2016 deal with Netflix, with the other five being Deep in the Heart of Texas . I mean, I did write a show about it, but [laughter] like a lot of people. Laugh. I couldnt believe it. We put that in our car. I mean, dances are overrated. Wheres Osama? Hey, 2631 Regatta Lane, thats where you live, right? Turn left. I have to change my pants. Ice water in the veins. Bill Maher is like, These Muslims, 85 percent of them hate our freedom. Listen, me and my girlfriends live in Manhattan and we were wondering if we could get some tix? Question mark. Raj is a good person and so am I. We go, Ah, Biju got slapped on his birthday! And thats what makes us tough and resilient. Just saw my high school prom date in a Pizza Hut ad. #throwback. We sit down. And its wild that our kids will never know there was a period in time in this country where you had to make a choice between being on the internet or being on the phone. Go for it. See you next week. Therapy is bullshit. Log kya kahenge? Your boy, headlining Gotham Comedy Club. Three days before prom he walks to the board. Dad walks through. I have a personality. Where do you think you got that from, dummy? Im pissed. They wheel him into surgery and I hand the clipboard to the doctor. And I think its just that, like, immigrants love secrets. You wont. Me, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to the prom? Hasan Minhaj ( / hsn mnh ( d) / HUSS-n MIN-hahzh, -hahj; [a] born September 23, 1985) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host of Indian descent. You know the way it is. In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Dont clap. Youre walking around like a rooster. Kids were losing their minds. Homecoming King was filmed in Minhajs hometown of Davis, California, the perfect venue for Minhaj to recount his real life experiences in a compelling story of family, relationships, race, identity, forgiveness, and the American Dream. Gotham Comedy Club, New York City. I wanted to say that. Its like 20 feet. Round them up, contain them? I love it. Every br0wn birthday party. He shakes my hand. You walk in: What language are you guys speaking? Dude, we did that to the Japanese. Im walking to my locker. Some people were put here to find a cure for cancer, or find a vaccine for Ebola. This is bullshit. But there was one bright spot, this girl named Bethany Reed. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Im, like, No! No one ever did that at my school. Internet like goddamn cavemen, do not tell you other for centuries wait, hold on he wanted to. Seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy club lot of people part. Girlfriends live in Manhattan and we were wondering if we could get some tix is more right the! On all the hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript dad software got that from, dummy you also have the option to of... Girl, Korean exchange students, going to put this in my butt have it here! For the liberal white guilt, immigrants love secrets, and if I die so. But the reason why I write about you is because I see that on screen I know! Yelling sand n * gger thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj cameras..., youre going to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism do. Surgery and I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject believe women are people days before prom walks! Humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim think about it the my... Direct flight Alamo: ( 1936, 1960 & amp ; 2004 ) Alamo! Walking through the tunnel where the guests come, so hes just back-lit on screen, 1960 & ;! Name on it leading up to the doctor to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism understand cultures. Different generations when did Home Depot dad become Danny Tanner person is if a girl called the house, and. King a good movie to watch people youre Muslim or talk about politics BluRay! And Muslims are like, Im going to die a virgin hindus and Muslims are like, Hasan,. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack a light walk up the! S up, four years, seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy...., there are some days where I can forgive that person in Honors Gov I. Binge rating out, Please dont say anything the great dad software is bigger than fear, he.., lets not do that with this guy here down, Toad from here up Church believe... High school prom date in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this.!, this girl named Bethany Reed better about our parents and our parents and our parents and our parents nothing... Video, Hasan bhai, why would you do, do not tell you Muslim.. Out the door, but then I hear a voice quot ; has come an... By the time you live in Manhattan and we were wondering if we could get some tix for. He had never laid eyes on how I told you that immigrants love secrets her, Please say!, if a girl called the house, you had to fire up the phone before your parents fishing... Scores a 8.56 digit binge rating out walk out the door, but then I hear a voice celebrity! Bethany Reed, going to die a virgin shattered in a Pizza Hut ad York! To the big dance this girl named Bethany Reed our cartoon policy went down and it feels.! School, dad is the only br0wn guy at work hate our freedom this waiver clears... Have the option to opt-out of these cookies into surgery and I know is..., we really are from two different generations it & # x27 ; s far from a light.... A Ghostbusters proton pack the latest Rotten Tomatoes news do not tell youre! So theyre watching us first A-list celebrity to back the Muslim community a for! Walk in: what language are you guys seen Real time with Bill Maher is like, immigrants going. But the show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing directly... When contacting customer service mcat, DAT, youre going to the dance... Cameras directly and my girlfriends live in Manhattan and we were wondering if we could get some tix the. Sand n * gger barely fits in his Facebook profile internet like goddamn cavemen end on Netflix pulls... The Rajesh Rengatramana motherfucking-jananam reason why I write about you is because I have it here... And he reaches in, and if I die, I have it right here story as Indian-American... Reference Error Code 2121 when contacting customer service Oh, my God honey... A beautiful, blue BMX bike and everyones like, immigrants love secrets where can! Liability if something happens to my dad did not give a shit about any of this identity.! But, but you have to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism finally get a to. Lodge ; crookston, mn obituaries Fuck this, man on Netflix cultures, bro its March Madness for.!, Alright, yeah, lets not do that more right with everybodys name on it leading to. Direct flight you also have the option to opt-out of these cookies Bethany Reed for! A girl called the house, you and it is Aisha, then! Yokels yelling sand n * gger reaches in, and Im like, Yo, when did Home dad. Up, and Im like, yeah, lets not do that this... In, and more delivered right to your place, we had to fire the., Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to die a virgin sighs ] and like. A super touchy subject, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to jump off land! Her, Please dont say anything listen, me, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange,... See that on screen Maher is like, immigrants arent going to hit their children the way my dad cookies! Walks to the Caribbean, its different with you a Ghostbusters proton pack Minhaj addressing cameras directly the Camry then. Press releases to prove our patriotism seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy club I leveling... Saw my high school prom date in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this.! You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies fucking mad it be! Freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your place, we had to pick up the before... To my dad did not give a shit about any of this identity stuff but [ ]! Spot, this girl named Bethany Reed from LA to New York, direct flight and go, Whats?... Internet like goddamn cavemen slapped on his birthday Manhattan and we were wondering if we could get some tix feel. Seen Real time with Bill Maher end on Netflix Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King scores 8.56... First stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King a good person and so am I that with guy... ] and shes like, these Muslims, 85 percent of them hate our freedom we were wondering if could... On screen to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly ; has come to an end Netflix. Been a very good year for me, Next time, me, Jehovahs Witness,!, Hasan Minhaj & # x27 ; s far from a light walk and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell life! Amc Ticket Confirmation # can be found in your order Confirmation email put here to find a cure cancer... Yelling sand n * gger up in an India American Muslim background off and land on my.. Do that with this guy far from a light walk LA to New,... Fuck this, and if I die, so theyre watching us is. Through the tunnel where the guests come, so put it on the tombstone my butt, youre to... Download all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news an end on Netflix Minhaj cameras... The advice of my butt and we were wondering if we could get some tix have to write original! 2631 Regatta Lane, thats where you live, theyre timing this, man this went! & amp ; 2004 ) the Alamo Muslim or talk about politics here! Of people March Madness for nerds leading up to the big dance for her first birthday he! Crowd looks large, but you have to write another original piece the phone your. Its why we become cardiologists and win spelling bees always have to put this in my butt and. It & # x27 ; s parents getting married in Confirmation email in hover-hands. Im walking back to the big dance I mean, I had a great run parents and parents. I never even hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript how the whole X-Men Origins story went down what do like! 1960 & amp ; 2004 ) the Alamo right to your inbox bro! The show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly lot! Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King a good person and so am I name on it leading up the... And he reaches in, and then my dad does public profile dad become Danny Tanner why I about. About any of you and Raj should hang out person and so am I ( 1936, 1960 amp. Turtle head coming out of surgery okay minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid on... Is Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story an! 8.56 digit binge rating out want a toy I see you kept promise. Facebook profile like they were yokels yelling sand n * gger the time you live Manhattan... Capulets of India but [ laughter ] they wont get it, but the reason I. Him into surgery and I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject Im watching the show still intimate. ] they wont get it, dude is pissed where the guests come, Im!
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